Air Drum High
by Shunters
Summary: Greg drinking Hodges' coffee plus air drumming with test tubes equals mayhem for the lab. Humour oneshot


**Hi! So I came up with this while in a chemistry lesson (well part of it) then the rest in a Spanish lesson while rocking out to some heavy metal of my own :D This fic took me like one night and a bus journey to write so I'm not sure how good it shall be. Plus I did it on my phone &amp; started it at my friend's B-day party after I had like no sleep XD (she didn't mind though). So without further ado, I present the combo of very boring school lessons, a weird dream, my strange mind and some help from my strange friends!**

**Oh also Thanks to:**

**a) My friend **Lastgoodbyestolenheart **for the idea of the title.**

**b) **Meggysmeg** for Betaring! I can recommend...because she's British! ;D**

**So on with the show...**

**Air Drum High**

**LV CSI Crime Lab**

Greg was sitting in his lab with absolutely nothing to do. There were no cases that required him. There was no paperwork for him to do. And yet there were still 3 hours left on his shift. He'd already drunk Hodges' whole pot of coffee for a laugh and bothered everyone else in the lab, twice.

Then an idea came to Greg 'Fast As A Shark'. He smiled. Greg ran over to his CD Player and switched the track to one of his favourite song.

After a minute of 'hidy-hi-ho's the track made a screeching sound of a record being changed then the track broke out into a scream. By this point Greg had found something to air drum with (two 'empty' test tubes) and was sitting in his favourite swivel office chair. When the scream ended some epic drums came on. Greg started air drumming to the beat of his song.

The whole lab began to vibrate with the music. As the song went on Greg's air drumming became more and more blind and close to the objects and furniture scattered around his lab.

Greg swung his hands down in a hard drum move, he didn't see the table, and smash! The tubes broke.

"Oh shit!" Greg said as he heard the smash of the glass. He looked down, "oh well, no harm done I guess," he brushed the glass off his lap and sat still for a minute. After a while he began to feel very happy and relaxed.

Greg ran a hand through his spikey hair and smiled to himself. He pulled his lab coat off and undid the top buttons of his shirt. He spun round to his desk and delved into the top drawer. He pulled out one of his favourite tops; black with Marilyn Manson on it and slumped it on his desk.

Greg then proceeded to stand and fumble with the buttons of his shirt. He soon stripped his shirt off and dropped it on the floor. Then something came to him. His scars.

"Huh, I wonder what my scars look like," Greg said to himself and then attempted to do an owl and look behind himself. But he actually ended up turning in circles looking more like a dog chasing its tail.

Grissom happened to be walking to the lab at that moment. He stopped short at the unexpected and unusual sight before him. Grissom blinked a few times to check with reality and yep this was definitely happening.

Greg was getting too dizzy from all his tail chasing. His foot slipped and he promptly fell flat on his face. When he hit the floor he just laughed and rolled onto his back.

Laying there in hysterics Greg took no notice of Grissom entering the lab to check on Greg. "Greg, are you alright?" Grissom asked as he knelt down to Greg.

Greg giggled, "hey Gris, what you doin' on the ceiling?"

"I'm not on the ceiling, Greg, you're on the floor"

"What?.." Greg asked, high pitched, and putting on a confused face.

"What're you doing on the floor, in your lab, without your shirt?"

"I...erm...I was tryna look at the scars on my back...and, and..." Greg broke out into laughter again, "scars" Greg snickered.

"Are you laughing about your scars"

Greg laughed and nodded, "yes"

"You've, you've never done that before, are you ok. Did you get a concussion when you fell?"

Greg just continued to laugh, "dude, chill"

"Dude? Chill? What is wrong with Greg?"

"Dude, nothing is wrong with me. Nothing is ever wrong with me Grissom. Nothing has ever been wrong. Wrong is just wrong, and right is just right. So you are wrong"

"What?"

Greg laughed and closed his eyes, "I don't even know man"

"Alright let's get you up," Grissom said as he pulled Greg up. Grissom turned and grabbed Greg's T-shirt from his desk, "put the shirt on Greg"

Greg took the T-shirt from him and tried to put it on. With Grissom's help Greg managed to put his T-shirt on. Grissom then sat Greg down on his swivel office chair.

Grissom noticed some glass on the floor, "Greg, what happened here?"

Greg snickered, "I absorbed it like a sponge"

"That's my saying. And what you'd absorb?"

The music suddenly changed to 'Die With Your Boots On' and Greg sprung up and swiftly cranked the music up. He then jumped onto his table and started to dance a sexy, drunk looking dance to the fast music.

Grissom walked over to the CD player and turned the music down to a more normal level. He then walked back over to Greg on the table.

"Greg, what are doing?! This is a lab! Get down! Now!" Grissom was loosing his patients.

Nick strolled down the corridor and stopped outside the DNA lab. When he saw Greg jumping and dancing on the table he just laughed 'classic Greg' he thought.

Nick walked into the lab, "I thought Catharine was the one who danced on tables"

Greg started laughing hysterically. He almost fell off the table, "whoa, that was close" Greg laughed.

"Nicky give me a hand here. I have no clue what's wrong with him today"

"Sure thing," Nick then turned to Greg, "hey, Greggo man, ya wanna get off the table?" Nick dowsed his voice in Texan drawl, battered his eyelashes and gave Greg that smile he loved o so much.

Greg giggled, "you wanna come up here and get me Nick?"

"Ok, so. He's drunk" Nick told Grissom

Grissom moved round the table, in front of Nick, "that makes sense, but how do you know?"

While Grissom and Nick were distracted, Greg got down, walked over and picked up the bullhorn he had previously processed for DNA in a man's saliva.

"I've seen him drunk before and he gets clumsy, then hysterical, then he gets very, very horny. Seriously, it's bad. He'll flirt and (if allowed) sleep with pretty much anything that breathes. Sometimes if it's really bad, he'll even flirt with stuff which doesn't," Nick explained.

"Wow, that is bad," Grissom replied

"Yeah. Hey, where'd he go?"

Greg finally figured out how to turn the bullhorn on and started shouting, "Revolution! We must have a revolution! In today's..." He turned to Nick, "I've lost the plot. Quick! Help me find it before it thickens!"

Grissom looked bewildered as Greg searched the room for the plot. Nick walked over to Greg, "hey, Greg buddy, do ya wanna put the bullhorn down and come with me?"

"No! My bullhorn!" Greg exclaimed through the bullhorn and ran out the room.

Grissom and Nick quickly took after him. The managed to keep up with Greg all the way to the corner before the break room where they lost him.

Nick dove into the break room and started searching under the table while Grissom looked in the cubordes. Sara, who was currently sitting at the table, asked them, "um, what are you two doing?"

"You never know where Greg could hide, never" Nick said as he poked his head out from under the table.

"Um, ok. Greg hasn't been in here yet," Sara replied, "although Hodges was complaining about Greg drinking all his Irish coffee."

With that a laughing Greg ran swiftly down the hallway, last the break room, and towards the exit. Without another word Nick and Grissom started after him again.

Greg reached the outside world of the carpark and was stuck for where to hide. He saw an empty carpark space. 'I know! That makes perfect sense!' He thought. Greg ran off to the empty space. He stood in it, bent his elbows and made his hands into fists to assume a car position (much like the wheels on the bus go round and round). Nick and Grissom came running out of the building.

"I am a car" Greg said through the bullhorn.

Nick burst out laughing and ran over, along with Grissom. Nick pulled out his cuffs, "this'll make it easier". Grissom nodded

"Oo kinky" Greg flirted. Nick cuffed Greg's hands, "hey! You can't arrest a car!" Grissom took the bullhorn off Greg, "hey! You people are rude! Tha's my bullhorn!"

"Come on Greggo, let's getcha back inside"

While on there journey Greg made random comments like, "who the hell put a wall there?" when there was no wall. Or, "oh no an obstacle!" Grissom opened the door, "wow! You're magical!" Eventually they managed to get Greg back inside and stuck him in an interrogation room while he sobered up.

Greg was sat on the floor with Nick next to him, holding a bowl just incase. Greg randomly exclaimed, "whoa, dude! Where's the floor?!"

Nick laughed, "you're sittin' on it Greg"

"What?" He went high pitched, "no"

"Yes"

After another pause, "damn! I can feel the Earth moving below me!" He then proceeded to throw his, coffee, alcohol &amp; drug (he didn't know was there), filled contents of his stomach up.

"Oh man. Greggo you ok?" Nick asked as he rubbed Greg's back.

Once Greg was done he nodded. Grissom walked in with a lot of Greg's special Blue Hawaiian coffee.

"How did you get that drunk, G?" Nick asked Greg as Grissom set the coffee on the table.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "all I drank or ate all day was Hodges' pot of coffee and a pack a crisps"

"Why'd you drink Hodges' coffee?" Grissom asked as he passed Greg some coffee.

"As a joke. I was really bored so I decided to be sneaky and steal something of Hodges'. So I went to his lab and there was his coffee so I had a glass and I thought it tasted nice, different to normal coffee but not as good as Blue Hawaiian. So I just took the pot." He shrugged and sipped his coffee.

"Nicky, take Greg home. He can't drive himself and I'm not trusting him with a cab, let alone a lab," Grissom said standing.

"Sure thin'"

"Thanks Gris" Greg said as he downed the last of his coffee.

Five minutes later found Nick sitting in the locker room with a depressed Greg in his arms.

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad" Nick tried to convince him.

"I smashed evidence, laughed about my scars, Grissom had to put my top on for me, I danced on the lab table, flirted with you in front of our boss, shouted about a revolution and losing the plot through a bullhorn, ran outside and claimed I was a car, shouted about walls being where there weren't, called Grissom magical, asked where the floor was and claimed I could feel the Earth moving below me!" Greg exclaimed desperately into Nick's top.

Nick was willing himself not to laugh, though it didn't work. Greg could feel the vibrations through him. Greg sat up, "shut up Nick!" Greg punched him in the stomach. Nick didn't flinch. He just had too much abs, "Great! Now my hand hurts! Brilliant"

"Aww. I'm sorry darlin'," Nick put his right arm round Greg and took Greg's sore hand in his left, "let me take a look at your hand"

The two unknown lovers didn't hear the door open and close behind them.

While Nick examined Greg's he continued to feel sorry for himself, "you probably don't love me anymore. Probably don't want to be seen with lab idiot."

"Aww, Greg. You know everyone already knows that you're the lab idiot. And besides you were drunk n high, ya didn't know what you were doin'," Nick had finished with Greg's hand and was letting him lean on him, "an' ya know I'll always love you."

"Really?" Greg tilted his head to look up at Nick.

"Really"

"Um, what have I just walked into?" A voice asked from behind them.

The two turned around.

"Hodges" they both stated at the same time.


End file.
